Behold: The Olykoek

Most historians believe that the Dutch were the first to introduce the modern doughnut to North America in the form of olykoeks, or "oil cakes" as early as the mid-19th century. These early donuts were balls of cake fried in pork fat. Mmmm... pork fat.¹

It really needs a hole...

Hansen Gregory, an American ship captain, is the man credited with inventing the classic hole-in-the-middle shape of the modern doughnut in 1847 by punching out the middle. Despite some versions of the story (one involving Angels), it appears this was done simply to cook the pastry all the way through.

Hanson was eventually burnt at the stake for being a witch in the mid-19th century.⁷

...but not too big of one

Researchers have noted that the size of the hole in a doughnut correlates with the quality of the economy. Specifically, the worse the economy, the bigger the doughnut hole. The good news is, the hole can only get so big before it's all hole and no donut, at which point it will no longer be a "donut hole". Wait, what?³

A good word for a bad boy

The first recorded use of the word "donut" is found in the 1883 story "Peck's Bad Boy and His Pa" by George W. Peck. A character is quoted as saying, "Pa said he guessed he hadn't got much appetite and he would just drink a cup of coffee and eat a donut." I feel as though the first literary appearance of the word "donut" should be a little more exiting. An explosion could have been involved, or foreign spies.⁴

More than just a jelly donut

Jews have embraced Sufganiyot, jelly-filled donuts, as ceremonial food of Hanukkah. Their rationale is that sufganiyot are cooked in hot oil and thus pay homage to the second century B.C. rededication of the Holy Temple, during which the oil in the temple lamp lasted eight nights instead of the expected one.⁵

Like the Freemasons, but with sprinkles

During the 1940s, stars such as Johnny Carson, Pearl Buck, Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, and Martha Graham were members of the National Dunking Association for donuts. The association provided membership cards, and even had a secret handshake... probably. I don't know for sure because it's a secret.⁶

I don't get this at all

The world's most expensive donut is made of 24k edible gold, edible diamonds, and aged chocolate balsamic vinegar. The remaining ingredients are top secret. They sell for $100 a piece to people who were never taught the value of a dollar.⁷

Save the date

National Doughnut Day is on the first Friday of every June. The holiday was established in 1938 to celebrate the Salvation Army Workers ("Doughnut Girls") who supplied free donuts to American troops during WWI. Another holiday celebrating the ubiquitous fried treat is National Doughnut Appreciation Day, which falls on November 5th.⁸

Donuts save lives

Speaking of Doughnut Girls, Stella Young was the original. Although there were lots of Doughnut Girls (AKA Sallies), Stella was the one on the cover of the sheet music for the song "My Doughnut Girl." Stella once narrowly escaped death when a bit of shrapnel hit her doughnut pan and missed her. She saved the shrapnel.⁹

I just like saying "Spudnuts"

Made with mashed potatoes or potato starch, potato doughnuts were once so popular they had their own fast food chain: Spudnuts. The mostly defunct chain was founded by two brothers in the 1940s. They were the first fast food doughnut chain to open in Los Angeles.¹⁰

Donut Conga

In 2014, a line of donuts 1,841 feet and 10 inches long was built in Berlin during the 30th anniversary of the Friedrichstadt-Palast building. This is considered a world record. I feel it lacks something visually. If they were led, inexorably, into a massive coffee vortex, I think they'd really have something. ¹¹

A waste of good donuts

In 2007, employees of 20th Century Fox and Capital Radio came together to build the world's tallest stack of donuts in honor of The Simpsons Movie. The stack was 43.5 inches high and shaped like a pyramid. It took 1,764 donuts to build. I'll be honest, it doesn't look that impressive, considering it took several employees from two companies to build. Also, they should get back to work. ¹²